Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
