Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
