Swine flu. Run for my life!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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