i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
wow bdsm is so cute
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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