we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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