The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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