Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
