The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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