high people should be assigned attendants
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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