The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
