I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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