Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
