Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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