I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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