Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
