good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
