the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
