FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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