On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
