I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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