i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
