roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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