By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
