saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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