I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
