how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
