ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
