it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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