I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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