I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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