he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
