do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
