I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
