remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
