Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
