garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
