stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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