Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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