this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
