sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
