i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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