I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
