You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
