My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
