have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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