i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
