I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
