is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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