What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
