Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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