Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will be naked everywhere
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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